Stealing From Celebrities and Other Famous Encounters

Once upon a time there was a young mother in the Chicago suburbs who was about to have her first child. She had nearly everything she needed to welcome her new bundle of joy into the world-- well, almost everything.

She needed a crib.

One day this soon-to-be mom visited her in-law's lake house in Michigan, and went shopping at a beautiful store filled with antiques and other quaint items. It was there that she saw IT, the piece of furniture that HAD to be her new baby's bed, that had to come home with her.

She locked eyes on a beautiful white wicker bassinet crib. Intricate curled wicker patterns adorned the sides, along with elongated ovals and figure eights. She had to have it. Her baby needed it.

Problem? It was a lot of money, even for 1984. So this poor woman headed back to the in-law's place, dejected and sad, the visage of the beautiful bassinet taunting her.

After mentioning her longing with a heavy sigh, her mother in-law told my mom to get back in the car. They were going back, and she was going to purchase this wonderful item for her daughter in-law. Although expensive, price was no option- this young mother was to have it.

Upon arriving at the store, the two ladies began to negotiate for the prized bassinet. However, complications arose.

You see, this particular bassinet had already been bought and paid for, and was awaiting pick up. A certain Gene Siskel, of the infamous Siskel & Ebert film critic dynasty, had already selected this handmade gem for HIS first born daughter, who was due around the same time as the young mother's baby.

But the mother in-law was not to be denied.

Immediately she upped the anty, and offered double what the piece of furniture was worth.

The salesman tugged at his collar, beads of sweat forming along his hairline. You see, the mother in-law was a rather formidable and intimidating woman, always dressed in Chanel and glittering with exotic jewelry from Morocco, Spain, or wherever place she had most recently traveled to. She and her vintage Prada leather boots were nothing to be reckoned with. But what about Gene Siskel, the famous celebrity who had already bought this item, had a lake house in the same area, and would be coming back soon to pick it up?

Ladies and gentleman, money always wins.

My mother shed tears of utter joy as they quickly packed up the bassinet and peeled out of that parking lot before Gene came back and unpleasantries and hostile words were exchanged.

So Gene went back to his home in Highland Park, IL empty handed and furious, while my mother gloated as she placed her new and fabulous item in her baby's new bedroom.

A few months later, my mom went back to the same store and asked what happened when Gene returned to find his beloved item missing. Apparently he and his wife were furious, and wanted to know who stole the bassinet out from under their feet. Now it was my mother's turn to start sweating.

But everything comes together in strange ways. Flash forward to 2006, when I began dating the Manchild.

Manchild lives in the same town as Mr. Siskel's family, although Gene unfortunately passed away in 1999. However, Manchild dated Gene's eldest daughter soon after her father passed away. She was still in a massive stage of grieving, and Manchild helped her get through some of the worst times.

Which daughter do you ask? Oh yes. This particular daughter, Kate (name is dangerously similar to mine), was the same little girl who was robbed of her bassinet all those years ago.

Which means that Manchild dated both of us, and I was the one who stole her crib. Life never ceases to amaze me. All I know is every time I go downstairs into my parent's basement, I look at that thing and laugh my ass off.

Other brushes with the celebrity life:

1) In the late 80's, my parents went to Florida quite often as the aforementioned in-laws had a condo in Sarasota. On one fateful day, my family sauntered down to the beach per usual to start in on another day of fun in the sun. However this day would go down in history as a day of total awesomeness.

Why? Because sitting on a beach blanket not even 10 feet away from where I was building sandcastles was no one other than the breathtaking, fabulous, and awe-inspiring Audrey Hepburn. When my mother recounts this story, she gets a little choked up. She brought me over to Audrey to say hello, but in my ignorant youth I had no idea who this lady was, nor did I care. But now I think back and realize "ZOMG! I met Audrey Hepburn!!!!!!" and I get a stupid smile plastered on my face. She passed away a few short years after my famous encounter in the Florida sand.

2) I met Anthony Edwards, aka Goose or Dr. Greene, whichever you prefer. All through college my mother (who is a professional photographer) got hired to take pictures at the Chicago First Look for Charity Auto Show black tie event. A well-known Chicago land dealership always hired her to take pictures at their charity pre-party/cocktail/speeches hour before we were allowed to waltz around the Auto Show floor in black evening gowns amidst the towering ice sculptures and the stacked champagne flutes. On one particular year, Anthony Edwards made a guest appearance and gave a speech during the cocktail hour, which focused on curing autism. I went to this event every year because my mom really needed the help, and since I've grown up surrounded by/understanding her equipment and what she needs done, I was always grateful to help. So Goose and I shook hands, and I took several pictures of him, and in turn held back from asking if it was painful when his F-14 crashed.

3) On a fairly recent trip to La-La Land, I found myself eating lunch at a quaint outdoor cafe in Culver City, accompanied by Shoe and her boyfriend. It was early January, 75 degrees, and life couldn't get any better. Suddenly Pat, Shoe's bf, turned and gestured with his chin to the table next to us. He then pointed out that one of the women sitting there was Lucy Liu. I squinted, took in the situation. It WAS her. Funny thing? Trying to recognize a super starlet sans makeup. Trust me, it took more than one look to realize it was her. Her tricked out jewelry, shades, and ginormous Gucci bag should have given it away. But holy smokes, I ate my panini as demurely as possible, and devoured my velvet cupcake daintily. Because who wants to look like a pig in front of a celebrity?

4) A few months ago I was sitting VIP in a Chicago hip-hop club, and lo and behold the Wu-Tang Clan (plus posse) came up and took over the table next to us. We were in a private room, so it wasn't really crowded, and these ginormous men just got up all excited and started rapping it out right then and there. I clutched my flute of Dom P. and bobbed my head to the beat. I even poured some out for my late homie, Ol' Dirty Bastard. RIP, Dirty, RIP.

Celebrities- I loves them!