Two days ago I pulled out my Bush "16stone" CD to listen to on the drive to and from work. This morning and evening I opted to listen to the same song more than a few times each way. The song "Everything Zen" just got stuck in my head. It reminds me of stuff I've already gone through. When you get stagnant with someone you've been dating for months on end, and all you want is that something again. Instead you force yourself to play the lover in love and go through those motions in silent agony. Do you get out? Do you stay? Do you keep trying? You're not a quitter and it gets to your head. Failure isn't an option, but in reality, it's the only one.
"We kissy kiss in the rear view
We're so bored
You're to blame
Try to see it once my way
Everything zen
Everything zen
I don't think so"
Oh Kayleigh, how very high school of you. I know, it reflects those types of relationships, but it still provoked old emotions anyway.
I almost got into no less than 4 car wrecks involving CTA buses, insane cabbies, and sidewalks full of pedestrians and all from Chicago and Michigan to Oak and State. About 5 blocks of pure rush hour hell. Not gonna lie, mia cuore fue battando rapidamente.
Tonight I was flying solo, and I felt content with myself for a few hours. I made myself some awesome chili-lime tilapia, poured myself a glass of wine, and polished off a few French chocolates as I watched my Thursday night tv show. I enjoyed the silence. Stared out the window, took in my life as a whole. It felt good. I know I lack the accomplishment feeling, but I felt as close to it as I could tonight. I just felt content with what I've made for myself, and have hope for what is yet to come.
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